I haven't exactly wanted to talk about this subject, but I need to get it out there. The reason I always feel so blah...
I've been in a major rut lately. Well... years, really. Aside from being pregnant, I can't remember a time where I was super happy. And why is this? Well, plain and simple, it has always boiled down to my weight. I never feel good about myself because of it. It has always held me back, physically, mentally, and emotionally. So I resorted to being the funny fat girl. I don't want to play that role anymore.
I love food. I think it might be fair to say that I'm addicted to food. Saying that, I feel incredibly... petty? but i really feel it's a problem, as it is with most overweight people. There's something that keeps bringing us back and eating the way that we do. and i've tried dieting time and time again. It'll work for a week, then the weekend comes and i'm like "okay, i can cheat a little bit" then i'm right back where i started. it's a vicious cycle. It's an addiction.
Let's be real here, yes pounds do matter, but overall, i just want to feel good. I want to be able to breathe. Soon my son will be running all over the place and I don't want to be that fat mom that can't keep up. I don't want to be that mom that can't sit on the swings because the chains cut into my thighs. This just isn't who I am supposed to be. I don't recognize myself anymore.
So i need to start somewhere else. and where is that? Exercising. blah, who wants to do that?! Especially when they're lazy and overweight. but, something has to be done. I'm tired of having daily headaches. I'm tired of my back hurting. I'm tired of feeling tapped in my own house, in my own skin. I'm tired of being lazy. I'm tired of being tired. And this is something I can control. Something that is within my power to change. So just do it!
Here's what I've been reading a lot about lately
I've never tried a workout video. ever. i always thought they were really cheesy. and a waste of money. But this one looks different. This one seems different. I used to watch The Biggest Loser, and Jillian Michaels is one tough cookie. She's super intimidating. And I really feel like she could motivate me... assuming i get up every morning and push play.
The reviews I've read, there's not much weight loss. But lot's of inches lost! And fast results! For me, that's what I need. I need to see/feel an instant change or I just give up. I feel like it's not working if I don't instantly drop weight, which is silly. But I'm one of those instant gratification types, need to work on that.
The reviews boil down to this; it kicks your ass, hard. Which sounds incredibly difficult for me. But it's what I need. I need to be pushed. I need to be motivated. I need to do this! Here are some before and afters
So, if there's anyone out there that has tried this (with good, bad, or indifferent results], knows something about it, wants to join in with me, has a better video choice, diets you swear by, or just has some tips and tricks for me, it would all be greatly appreciated!
*(i hope i don't regret posting this, I'm already embarrassed and shaking at the thought of being judged. I just needed an outlet to vent my fatty frustration)